I laugh in your face!

We keep the crap diapers outside on the deck in a container. This protects the house from the everlasting scent of shit. Of course, come garbage day, this renders our deck useless as it smells like cooking piles of kid feces. With the weather being in the 100's, we don't mind.

Last night, some enterprising animal made the trek up the stairs to tear into our dirty diaper container. Image his surprise to find nothing tasty to eat; just poo diaper on top of poo diaper. I say "his" because I'm convinced a female would have stopped digging after the first 2 or 3 shit bombs. Foraging Animal: I laugh in your face!

While driving home, the tailgater behind me began to test my knowledge of sign language. I know what that finger means, sir, and understand your frustration. I hate doing the speed limit on a busy road in a school zone. But, I'm unemployed and not about to fill the City's coffers with my speeding ticket fine. Just as I though he was going to blow up, I heard sirens. This was my chance! I'll pull over, let the ass pass and all will be well in Leavenworth. I pulled over; I am a dutiful citizen, you know. He pulled over. I saw lights, heard sirens...where is this emergency vehicle. Oh, it's behind the tailgating ass. "Hello, officer, and thank you!" I sing out as I drive off. Mr. Ass Tailgator: I laugh in your face!

I used an obscene amount of coupons at the store. Not crazy-coupon-lady obscene, but every item on sale plus a coupon kind of obscene. I hardly ever strike it rich like this. Recession: I laugh in your face!

My red beans and rice kicked ass. Hunger: I laugh in your face.

Oh, laughter...you are the best medicine.