I Just Made An "ASS" of "U" and "ME"

I've been sick. Stupid allergies. Stupid state. Stupid cedar. Those of you (okay, 2 of you) wanting an entry here, know that I'm pushing through some serious haze here, just for you. My 6 readers. :)

I know you're not supposed to make assumptions in life, but sometimes one can't help it. Take, for instance, last Saturday at the local YMCA. I knocked on the family bathroom door. My kid had to pee and those of us with toddlers know that when the kid says "Mommy, I gotta go!" you have 30 seconds to get on the pot. I waited 5 seconds, heard nothing and opened the door...to find an old woman on the can, magazine in hand. Give me a break! Here's what's wrong with the picture (for those of you who might be confused):

1. If I was unloading my soul into the crapper like she was and someone knocked, I would've thrown out an "Occupied!". Hell, even if I was in there whizzing away and someone knocked, I'd yell "occupied". In general, if I'm in a room that someone else wants to gain entry to and I don't want them to, I'd let them know "hey, busy in here, thanks!". I don't understand her technique of being as quiet as possible in the hopes that I would think "hmm, it's awful quiet in this bathroom. I better move on."

2. I *never* forget to lock a bathroom door. How can she take the time to get a magazine, open it and start reading but forget to push a button in on the door? She's settling in, finish the job! Lock the door.

3. It's the family bathroom with the changing table and kid-sized toilet next to the regular toilet. It's next to impossible to cram me, the kid, a gym bag and the kid's bag in a tiny stall. Plus, the regular toilet is too high and big. Luckily, family-oriented places like the Y made designed these bathrooms for us Moms and Dads. We're a greatful nation, but Dammit, woman, get out of there!

It's akin to the time years ago when I walked AROUND a woman in a wheelchair to snag the handicapped bathroom because I had a run in my hose and wanted to take them off. After I was done and stepped out, I realized my mistake (as she sat there throwing me dagger stares). I felt like the smallest person, but really, when has there been a handicapped person in the bathroom the same time as you? Not trying to make excuses; I was an ass, through and through. Perhaps this is Karma. I dunno.

Back to present time, of course Katie yells "ewwww!" and I'm trying to get out of there. She stunk up the whole hallway. Okay, technically I did because I opened the doorway to Hell, but I stand by my original assertion: you should be able to assume that if you knock on a bathroom door and no one answers, that potty is vacant.

Thoughts? Do you have your own bathroom story? Someone please have a worse one than my handicapped story!