2012-IN YO' FACE!

I did not make any "official" resolutions. There's the standards: "let me, please, lose this extra ass of mine" and "I will organize the shit out of my house until it looks like The Container Store". But, those aren't really resolutions. If it happens, HELLZ, YEAH! If not (and this is the likely outcome) I will go on living. No harm, no foul.

Maybe I should be more disappointed in myself for not fulfilling my resolutions of New Years' past. Since gaining the weight of a typical 5th grader during the pregnancy of my first-born, I've tried to shake the jiggle out to no avail. I finally made some headway, thanks to Kat and her awesome spinning class; however, that was fleeting. I got pregnant again and BOOM! Helllllo, ass number #2. Wait, that reads weird...my kids aren't asses, I managed to put an additional ass on top of my existing shelf, thus making it ass #2.

As far as organization goes, we have too much shit. I have three full sets of clothes: skinny Joyce clothes that I can't fathom giving away becaue it's the "good stuff" and i'll fit in it again, right?; pregnant Joyce clothes that could double for sails on the finest sailboats; big fat Joyce clothes that I bought after being busted for wearing maternity clothes long after I gave birth. My hubby has clothes he wore in high school (the man is 35 years old) and he refuses to wear it or give it away. I know the feeling and I can't judge. It's all mixed together, co-mingling in our closets. I should thin it out, but I get depressed.

My kitchen is packed full of fun baking gadgets, pots and pans plus various kitchen appliances. Most of it is from my single days when I had the time to bake wonderful fragrant goodies. I don't have time to brush my teeth, much less whip up a souffle. Still, I hang onto it because "one day.....". On a side note, I credit my baking with the quick sale of my house. Yes, this nerd followed the advice of a professional stager and made a huge batch of chocolate chip cookies. I rolled them into logs, wrapped them in wax paper and froze them. Every morning, I baked a dozen for the aroma. Sold the house in 3 days. We had 3 offers and a bidding war ensued. Thanks, chocolate chip cookies!

We have doubles of everything. Tv's, couches, kitchen tables, full bedroom sets, etc. stuff, stuff, stuff. We also have a large collection of Christmas decorations and Halloween stuff. I refuse to be "that guy" on the block who doesn't decorate. Plus, my daughter is old enough to enjoy looking at it. I rock as a Mom; therefore, it stays. I should pack it all up neatly in some tubs. Instead it's here and there. I can find it when I need to and, well...doesn't that count for something?!

I choose to not feel like a total loser every December 31. Therefore, I am not about to head down that Resolution Road. Instead, I promise myself that I will be the coolest broad I know. I will love my husband like no tomorrow. I will love and adore my kids even when they vomit in my face or tell me I'm the worst mommy EVER. Like I said, if I lost more fat, HELLZ yeah. If not, I'm gonna keep working until I do. No pressure.