Too Cool For Christmas

Is it just me, or does there seem to be a bit of a backlash against Christmas magic?

Believe me, I feel pretty stupid writing "Christmas Magic" but I'm not sure how else to describe it. I define this "magic" as the belief that one man delivers toys to all the girls and boys around the world in a night. Or, it's the little bagged treat that a child might find on his or her nightstand every morning brought to them via a Christmas Angel who helps them count down the days till the 25th. These days such practices seem to be under fire, In particular, the "Elf on a Shelf".

For those who don't know (and until recently, I counted myself among your numbers) there's this elf. He sits on a shelf, but each day he moves to another shelf. Case closed. Recently, due to various social networks, blogs, sharing of pictures, some creative people have their elf sipping a beer, zip-lining from the staircase to the tree or reminding little ones to brush their teeth via lipstick on a mirror and smiling elf below with a toothbrush in hand.

Big deal. I personally don't have the time, imagination or energy to constantly move a toy all over the house. After our bedtime HELL of screaming overtired kids, the last thing I want to do is bake some homemade cookies, throw flour around the kitchen and break an egg on the counter and sit my elf next to it in an attempt to convince my 3-year-old that our toy did this. I just want to lay down and sleep myself! My kid wouldn't give a shit about the kitchen, she would happily gobble down the cookies and I'll not only have a kitchen to clean, I'll likely have to clean up after my sick kid who just ate a dozen Elf cookies. But I hold no grudges towards the Mom who can make that happen.

At my house, we are doing an advent calendar. It was my sister's idea; decorate some brown paper lunch bags with numbers to count down the days to Christmas. We hung them along the kitchen window drapes with a clothes pin so they are part of our decorations. Each night, I take one down, slip a little treat (a candy cane, plastic jewelry, Chapstick, etc.) in the bag and voila! Our house has been hit by Santa's helper. My daughter goes bananas. The look on her face each morning makes me start the day out on the right foot. Now, if I told my friends they have to do this or risk being a terrible parent, then yes, I deserve to be punched in the throat. But to say I suck because of something I do in the privacy of my own home, which has no bearing on your life or the life of your children, goes too far. As Ice Tea once said, and I'm paraphrasing here, "go eat a hot bowl of dicks".

I've seen some comments on how those who participate in creative elf on the shelf placements are "nut jobs" who "need to get a life". Really? A mom who wants to have a little fun with her kids is a nut job because she puts her elf in Dad's favorite chair and has him reading a book? Again, it doesn't have any effect on your life, why do you care? One person points it that it makes the rest of us non-creatve, time-crunched Moms look bad. I would argue that you writing you want to punch someone over something as asinine as a stuffed elf makes you look bad.

If I want my kids to believe in Santa or an elf who comes alive, that's my prerogative. My parents had us believing in Santa Claus and when I found out he wasn't real, I didn't resent them for this "great sham" they pulled over on us kids. I looked forward to doing the same to my own kids because it was such a sweet innocence. If people want to let their kids believe an elf smoked Dad's favorite cigar, drank some brandy and erased the DVR list, who cares? What harm is there? If the same friend broke into my house, threw a feral cat dressed as a reindeer in the living room with her elf strapped to its back, then we'd have an issue which I would resolve via a punch to the throat. Otherwise, keep posing that elf, enjoy the holiday season and love your kids the best way you know how.